Random Thoughts (2)

Off for 3 days again, I thought of going on leave today because I need to go to SSS and fix what needs to be fixed I really thought it’ll take us the whole day,but to my surprise didn’t even take an hour. Which is great! So I thought of cancelling my leave & just go to work but when we got home my friendly visitor is here, been expecting for it to come like around the 5th of the month but then I realized it changes every so often,so fine now I’m nursing myself (grrr I so hate this agonizing pain!)

But you know what I tell myself whenever I feel pain ? “ That is nothing compared to what “Bro” did to save you, so complain less and the pain shall go away…”

And as you’ve seen in my previous entries I have spoiled myself by eating Hershey’s ice cream and lots and lots and lots of sweets – oh well it makes me happy but at least I’m not that hyperactive compared to other peeps that is so close to being “crazy as hell” due to excessive hyperactivity that it annoys everyone in the world. hehe.

Few nights ago me and my friend Rica (which has always been a subject in a few of my entries here) were talking about “The Secret” as we both understood it, it’s about the Law of Attraction, like how powerful our mind can be…like how our “thoughts” can turn into “actions”. I get regular emails from “The Secret” in which of course it never failed to enlighten me. Rica have read the book or perhaps listened to it as she prefers audio books than really reading one. And she told me about “The Secret” about relationships – like how the “clients” met the love of their life. I’ve been doing one of the things she mentioned for a while now ( I think since the last quarter of year 2010 ) but at some point I have unconsciously revert back to my routine…it was just last week when I thought of doing it again.

what was I doing? I sleep in one side of the bed only. Its like i save the other side for my future partner – sounds silly – but I like it, it excites me and at the same time it scares me.

And I can only think of one thing : my choices.

I chose to start a new chapter in my life – but the thing with new beginnings, something has to END (quote from Gossip Girl).

And I guess this is the nth time that I’m gonna say this. I have to end something that I held on to for a while ( almost 4 years if I must say) . I have fallen so deeply in-love, helplessly & unconditionally. I believe everything happens for a reason and I have listed a few lessons I learned from that experience.

I guess whatever we feel for each other is not enough for us to be together.

And letting go doesn’t mean that I wont be here for him anymore, I have loved him and always will so no matter what happen I’m still here for him…the only difference now is the space that he used to occupy in my heart/life is now empty.

That kinda sounds sad:

Here comes happy thoughts again, someone made me listen to Dashboard Confessional’s Stolen. I love this effin song!!!

I don’t understand why he made me do it and I don’t want to assume something that might disappoint me so I’m trying to stop myself from over-thinking.

Now aside from this blog and my tumblr. I have also a small notebook where I write whatever I feel like writing.

samples:

:the color of the page is pink,but turned white when i took the picture.

: I adjusted the settings of my phone and well – i need a better camera.haha!

: as much as I want to ask him why he made me listen to it, I think he will tell me the answer at the right time ( now, is that me assuming something? )

oh well.

 

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