RANT

currently listening to The Cranberries “Linger”

He is not the type of guy who will hold my hand while walking.

He is not the type of guy who will put his arms around me whenever he feels like it.

He is not the type of guy who’s proud of his “girl”

He doesn’t seem like a guy who would show up with a bouquet or something nice

His life is too complicated and he’s doing weird stuff to make it worse

So why did I even bother asking if I can stay? It’s so obvious that there’s no more space left…hmmm, on 2nd thought there’s a lot of space to make his semi-charmed life more complicated than what it is now.

yes I am bitter.

These are just the few things that I think should give me enough reason to keep on moving forward ; he wont stop me anyways

I am not trying to hate him…just trying to let go.

I am not ranting now so people would bug me and ask me who this is…’cause I will certainly not tell anyone.

I’ve heard so many stuffs about him & pretty much I know how complicated his life is, but the thing is I am blindly optimistic.

I believed the “hearsays” but I chose to believe that there’s a part of him that maybe is sincere or serious or knows how to be a really really good man.

Because…

He knows how to put a smile on my face without making so much effort…even if he never meant to make me smile.

For a moment there, he made me complete because he made me fall inlove.

I had pterodactylus in my stomach whenever he would look at me.

I guess I never should’ve put to too much emotion on what was going on.

Those were just plain messages forwarded to me…

He is just bored I guess and have no one to talk to…

He doesn’t need me the way I need him

and now I think he can’t love me the way I know he could.

Oh well…he made me happy naman, I guess I just need some time to really move on and accept that this has to end.

Its a good thing that someone told me to get some clarity.

Its good that I have asked that question and he never answered. At least now I will stop wondering.

Its easy to say that I will move on…

that I will just learn to smile and appreciate someone else

but deep inside its hard to for me to do it, I cannot always pretend that I’m tough and I’m happy. But I have to and I have to do it everyday…’cause sooner or later I’ll get used to it and then it will just come out naturally again…

sooner or later I don’t have to pretend anymore.

lessons learned!

see an imperfect person as “perfect”

its always better to know & be disappointed than to never know and always wonder.

Never regret something that once made you smile.

He is just one of those person that would walk into my life , teach me a lesson then walk away.

The name got an effin jinx! *sigh*

But I am saying hello to butterflies again 🙂

Got my friends behind my back & I am sure they’ll do everything to help me get over the effin feeling.

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