Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to all fathers in the world!

Especially to my grandfather ♥

: Lolo and Me ♥

I think he looks like japanese…or maybe my eyes are really bad haha!

: My grandparent’s wedding picture – well its a drawing , haha not really a picture.

my grandparents : together for 55 years!!! huwaw!

Happy father’s day to all my friends that have kids already, my uncles, my cousins, the fathers of my friends…

And of course, my own father…I have no idea where he is right now, all I know is that he prefers to be with someone else.

Happy Father’s Day Papa…believe it or not I am not mad at you. No grudge at all…you’re the other person that brought me to life and I’m always thankful for that…

: Father’s Day Celebration – year 2008

: me and pop!

: me,pop and Lalayne.

– yeah I am bittersweet –

RANT

currently listening to The Cranberries “Linger”

He is not the type of guy who will hold my hand while walking.

He is not the type of guy who will put his arms around me whenever he feels like it.

He is not the type of guy who’s proud of his “girl”

He doesn’t seem like a guy who would show up with a bouquet or something nice

His life is too complicated and he’s doing weird stuff to make it worse

So why did I even bother asking if I can stay? It’s so obvious that there’s no more space left…hmmm, on 2nd thought there’s a lot of space to make his semi-charmed life more complicated than what it is now.

yes I am bitter.

These are just the few things that I think should give me enough reason to keep on moving forward ; he wont stop me anyways

I am not trying to hate him…just trying to let go.

I am not ranting now so people would bug me and ask me who this is…’cause I will certainly not tell anyone.

I’ve heard so many stuffs about him & pretty much I know how complicated his life is, but the thing is I am blindly optimistic.

I believed the “hearsays” but I chose to believe that there’s a part of him that maybe is sincere or serious or knows how to be a really really good man.

Because…

He knows how to put a smile on my face without making so much effort…even if he never meant to make me smile.

For a moment there, he made me complete because he made me fall inlove.

I had pterodactylus in my stomach whenever he would look at me.

I guess I never should’ve put to too much emotion on what was going on.

Those were just plain messages forwarded to me…

He is just bored I guess and have no one to talk to…

He doesn’t need me the way I need him

and now I think he can’t love me the way I know he could.

Oh well…he made me happy naman, I guess I just need some time to really move on and accept that this has to end.

Its a good thing that someone told me to get some clarity.

Its good that I have asked that question and he never answered. At least now I will stop wondering.

Its easy to say that I will move on…

that I will just learn to smile and appreciate someone else

but deep inside its hard to for me to do it, I cannot always pretend that I’m tough and I’m happy. But I have to and I have to do it everyday…’cause sooner or later I’ll get used to it and then it will just come out naturally again…

sooner or later I don’t have to pretend anymore.

lessons learned!

see an imperfect person as “perfect”

its always better to know & be disappointed than to never know and always wonder.

Never regret something that once made you smile.

He is just one of those person that would walk into my life , teach me a lesson then walk away.

The name got an effin jinx! *sigh*

But I am saying hello to butterflies again 🙂

Got my friends behind my back & I am sure they’ll do everything to help me get over the effin feeling.

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Just A Dream

Couldn’t get over this effin song, I know this is not the kind of music that I would listen to like everyday but I found myself listening to it for the past 3 days.

Have to blame my cousin Ronnie ( a.k.a Dongke’ ) for this, he had it on his wall I think the other day , I decided to download the song and now I’m addicted to it. I like this version, err no, I LHURVE IT so effin much – geeez so gay!

The lyrics were a bit different from the original but I think its great! I love the voice of Cristina Grimmie , makes me feel bad a little bit because I have such a horrible singing voice. haha.

I like her hair too, wonder if it will look good on me, he he.

Thanks to Lukey, you’re amazing! Saw the video and lyrics on your blog and I must say I really really like everything about your blog dude! Thumbs up!

I can’t help myself from having this song in my blog.

and the lyrics too, again thanks to Lukey

check him at : http://www.lukeyishandsome.com/

(Sam Tsui)

I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes; it was only just a dream.
(Christina Grimmie)
I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize, it was only just a dream.

(Sam Tsui)
I was at the top and I was like I’m in the basement.
Number one spot and now you found your own replacement.
I swear now that I can’t take it, knowing somebody’s got my baby.
And now you ain’t around, baby I can’t think.
I shoulda put it down. Shoulda got that ring.
Cuz I can still feel it in the air.
See your pretty face run my fingers through your hair.

My lover, my life. My baby, my wife.
You left me, I’m tied.
Cuz I know that it just ain’t right.

(Together)
I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize, it was only just a dream.
(Christina Grimmie)
When I’m ridin I swear I see your face at every turn.
I’m tryin to get my usher on, but I can let it burn.
And I just hope you’ll know you’re the only one I yearn for.
No wonder I’ll be missing when I’ll learn?

Didn’t give you all my love, I guess now I got my payback.
Now I’m in the club thinkin all about you baby.

Hey, you were(was) so easy to love. But wait, I guess that love wasn’t enough.

I’m goin through it every time that I’m alone.
And now i’m wishin that you’d pick up the phone.
But you made a decision that you wanted to move one.
Cuz I was wrong…

(Together)
And I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize, it was only just a dream.

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
And now they’re gone and you’re wishing you could give them everything.

Ohhh, if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
(if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.)
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
(if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.)
And now they’re gone and you wish you could give them everything.

I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes (open my eyes); it was only just a dream (it’s just a dream).
I travel back (travel back) (i travel back), down that road (down the road)(down the road).
Will you come back? No one knows (no one knows).
I realize, it was only just a dream (No, no, no…).

And I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes (open my eyes) (open my eyes); it was only just a dream (it’s just a.. it’s just a dream).
So I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize (i realize), it was only just a dream  
(baby, it was only just… it was only just a dream)

Nooo… Ohhh…
It was only just a dream.
That’s it, time for me to sleep…xoxo
yeah I am bittersweet!