something funny

Well, I find this funny…

We’ve been office mates for about 3 years I used to hang out near his station before because he was sitting next to a friend of mine…been saying hi and hello to each other whenever we would cross each others path , we would even talk but we never introduce ourselves to each other…until today.

While on my way home I saw him… pretended I didn’t see him so I wont have to say hi first — but he saw me & held my arm — sorta telling me to walk with him or them because he’s walking with a “familiar girl” . So  ok…

Me: Oh, hello

Him: Hi

Me: smile

a moment of silent

Me: I’m sorry what’s your name? Cause we would usually greet each other but I don’t know who you are…

Him: I’m ______

Me: and you? (looking at the other girl)

Girl: _______

Him: That’s what I’m telling her ( referring to the other girl ), I asked her if she knows your name but she’s not sure, I told her the same thing we would greet each other without really knowing our names.

Me: (laughs) yeah and we even talked at the Diner earlier…

It was drizzling, he didn’t have umbrella but he’s wearing a cap so I asked him if he wants to share my umbrella, he said no because he doesn’t normally take a bath (of course he’s joking)  –  me and the other girl laughed.  We were walking on a narrow path so he let me walk before him, in return of the favor I offered my umbrella again, he didn’t refuse anymore but he took my umbrella so I wont have a hard time holding it because he’s taller than me.

I’m like

He he he… I’ve been upset for a while, because I was having a hard time dealing with my emotions and it feels good that a former “semi – stranger”  (is there such a word) made me smile.

He’s always smiling at me…

Just saying…

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Last Week: Training is over

One week of process training is finally over, went pretty good so far at least for me , like what I told my friends I wont ask questions unless I’m really working on it…so as soon as Rica is teaching me about some technical stuff I got myself confused and asked a few questions about it. There’s not much of a difference between the 2 processes but I think its  a little bit complicated, but I still have 2 weeks to really absorb everything that I learned from the process training and…there’s soooo much more to come.

On our last day though I was a bit upset, well been upset since Thursday but I decided not to dwell too much on it because it’s just a petty thing to discuss and I might have misunderstood the other person’s tactics or whatever.

A lot of things that happened last Friday got me upset , no I was mad. It’s a good thing I know how to control my emotions and decided not to really talk about it until I’m a little calm. Another good thing is that I’m with my friends that time since we agreed to visit Lola Mommy. We were laughing all the time making fun of the people who’s not there.Oh boy, that was fun, made me miss them more!

And at least I had the chance to spend time with my new breed of “shock absorbers“, Zandy and Mimi , teehihi. I needed that moment, spill the beans, rant…vent out, whichever you wanna call it.

I know that I brought this humiliation to myself, but like what I told the girls I have no regrets because I knew then it was exactly what I needed , and it’s quite obvious that for a moment there I was happier.

I was trying to mend a broken heart at the time when Mr.Weasley started bugging me confessing his interest on me. I told him about it and he said to me in reply that I’ll be able to move on immediately if I have someone else.

So ok, so I have spent the last 2 weeks with him and turned out to be just fine.

But then like what I said on my previous entry, my actions are limited and that’s not me. I’m a very touchy person, I like to embrace the people that’s dear to me, hold their hands/arm, beso and all that stuff. And I can’t do that to him. Because his reputation is not that good and a lot of people actually told me to stay away from him. Several people told me a lot of stories about him and he was man enough to be honest and actually admitted those stuffs.

But the trouble in me being “blindly optimistic” just thought of giving him a chance to prove that he’s not really as bad ass as what the other people thought of him…there is something good about him and he was able to prove that to me.

He knows how to sweep me off my feet and without telling him he was able to figure out my weaknesses when it comes to guys.  So I was just going with the flow,enjoying our moment(s) together…but I never said I love him,I  do like him as a person…I guess I was falling for him…

I grew up without really having a man in my life , since my father wasn’t around. So whenever I get special attention from a guy I tend to grab it and hold on to it for as long as I can.

But I have spent about 3 years holding on to my love for Pong unfortunately it didn’t end that way I wanted it to be. This “involvement” with him is pretty much the same as Mr.Weasley, one of the differences is I get to spend a lot of time with the 2nd one — but I don’t think I can do it again , I don’t think I’m willing to do same thing and be hurt again for the same effin reason.

I have confessed almost everything in that room with the people he knew well and I was expecting he’ll do the same thing, but he never did and now it seems like I’m the one begging for his attention.

That moment (in Las Vegas) I’ve heard enough…rather, I didn’t hear enough to really make me wanna stay in this kind of relationship.

I need someone who will stood up for his feelings (for me) no matter how complicated the situation is, even if half of the million people in this world disagree on it he would still be brave enough to admit his feelings, because I’ve done that a few times and still willing to do it,I just hope that next time, it’ll be for Mr.Right.

I tried to talk to him about it but with his state of mind last Friday I just thought that he wouldn’t understand.

On the brighter side of things: I have other options and he saw who’s my other option is.

My question(s) now is/are, how do I end this? Do I still need to give him a chance to explain? (’cause I never gave Mike L. (my ex) to explain WTH is going on before actually splitting up with him) . Is this just a little misunderstanding/miscommunication? Do I have to tell him everything that made me upset or do I just have to tell him it’s over?

WTH I’m not even sure if I really want to end this now, I just thought that this is better than nothing, it’s better that I have him instead of having no one to take care of me…

This is so pathetic… no matter how you look at it, its wrong!

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Turning Tables and then some…

Lately I’ve been watching and catching up with Glee, well not only that I noticed that I have also been addicted to watching a lot in ETC. Like Tyra Bank’s show America’s next top model, I’ve been getting a lot of ideas from that show that might serve a GREAT purpose for my life in the near future ( so I always have my fingers crossed ) , also the Glee Project.  I like Damian,and I guess its true there’s something about the “british accent” that makes them really sexy…haha, oh but Damian is a young guy, but he’s really cute especially when he’s nervous and still smiling. I like the Keeping up with Kardashians too, this is really funny.

Then again here’s another song of my favorite “ADELE” , Turning Tables performed by Gwyneth Paltrow in Glee.

Adele’s voice is really amazing , I just love it!Believe it or not , her song Rolling in the Deep is my wake up song 🙂

I adore Paltrow’s voice too…and so far this is one of the performances in Glee that actually moved me. I can’t say that I can really relate to the message of the song…but this is my favorite line:

So I won’t let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won’t ask you, you to just desert me,
I cant give you what you think you gave me

Hmm, I guess this is what you get if your heart and your mind doesn’t get along pretty well. When your heart is telling you to go and take a risk , just enjoy it but your mind is telling you that this is silly and that you should stop before things gets more complicated than what is right now.

They say that when you’re inlove , you would do a lot of crazy stuff unconsciously most of the time. But I say , when your heart is broken you will do a lot of crazier stuff.

The situation is really familiar.

I’ve been thru this and I never thought that I’ll be in this state again, so ironic.

I guess History does repeat itself : my life turned 360 degrees.

Its good to have someone who will take care of you, who’s worried when you’re not feeling well…who’s a little jealous when you’re talking to some other guys especially if he knows that the guy you’re talking to is your crush or used to be your crush.

It feels great knowing that there’s someone excited to see you everyday.

Exactly what I need.

But I was born with an enormous need for affection and a terrible need to give it back.

All I want is to prove it but I can’t. My actions are limited.And I have to be silent most of the time.

Why does it have to be so complicated?

And how can I make this stop? Because sooner or later this has to end.

Oh well.

Video and Lyrics: as always thanks to youtube and letssingit.com

Close enough to start a war,
All that I have is on the floor,
God only knows what we’re fighting for,
All that I say, you always say more,

I can’t keep up with your turning tables,
Under your thumb, I can’t breathe,

So I won’t let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won’t ask you, you to just desert me,
I cant give you what you think you gave me,
It’s time to say goodbye to turning tables,
To turning tables,

Under hardest guise I see, ooh,
Where love is lost, your ghost is found,
I braved a hundred storms to leave you,
As hard as you try, no, I will never be knocked down,

I can’t keep up with your turning tables,
Under your thumb, I can’t breathe,

So I won’t let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won’t ask you, you to just desert me,
I cant give you what you think you gave me,
It’s time to say goodbye to turning tables,
Turning tables,

Next time I’ll be braver,
I’ll be my own savior,
When the thunder calls for me,
Next time I’ll be braver,
I’ll be my own savior,
Standing on my own two feet,

I won’t let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won’t ask you, you to just desert me,
I can’t give you what you think you gave me,
It’s time to say goodbye to turning tables,
To turning tables,
Turning tables, yeah,
Turning, oh.
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Fish Braid Hairstyle

Thanks to my sister who finally figured out how to do it, been seeing a lot of fish braid hairstyles in my tumblr dashboard and I didn’t know that she’s practicing how to do it until I saw her one day doing it on her own, she then decided to do it in my hair.

Just need to share something about my hair first…

I love my hair so much, I think its one of my asset ( LOL ), my hair is naturally straight , curled it twice, 1st was when I was in 4th yr highschool, it was my father’s decision actually.  The 2nd was I think in 2008 , after I broke up with Mike. I needed to move on so I thought that changing the way I look will help me, yeah it sounds ridiculous but eventually it turned out to be cool!

I would spend hours putting hair mousse on it to make sure that it’ll turn out just the way I want it to be.Here’s a sample:

But after a few months I decided to stop using hair mousse , I think my hair doesn’t need it anymore. Since my hair is growing so fast , my straight hair evidently wants to come back. I would usually go to work without really combing it, I just use my hands to remove the tangles 😀 . After about a year or so my hair is like this :

Long, straight , wavy towards the end. Always pretty, effortless.

My shampoo is Pantene less hair fall, when I had those curly hair I use conditioner everyday ( any creamsilk conditioner will do ) TIP: only use conditioner on your hair,what I mean is try not to put conditioner on your scalp, it can cause dandruff. It’s a must to have / get “hot oil” at least once a week or once in every 2 weeks. I’m using milk protein hot oil treatment (from Watsons), I do it on my own since this thing doesn’t need that heating machine they use at any hair salon, just a simple shower cap will do.

Last February I decided to cut my uber long hair:

Short, layered and still with bangs. I have a wide forehead, that’s why I always have bangs.

Ok now to the main topic, as I have mentioned I’ve seen a lot of these in my tumblr dashboard.

Fish Braid hairstyle: I think this is really cool!

: A nice ribbon would be perfect!

: I love how the blue streaks made a very cool effect on her hair!

: a red haired Rihanna on fish braid too.

: gathered photos of artists with fish braid hairstyle. from tumblr, credits will always go to the owner.

: and me 🙂

another OT:

I broke my record , after almost 5 years of NO ABSENT NO LATE – I was 10 minutes late last Friday night –  NOT THAT I’M PROUD OF IT (WTH?) I am so effin mad about it! I got stuck in traffic for 15 to 20 minutes, that was really awful, I swear the vehicles wasn’t moving at all for 15 minutes , and when it finally move it was just like 5 steps for me. If I was late because I overslept I would’ve accepted it , I would leave the house right about the same time every night, sometimes 15 minutes earlier because I know that during those wee hours at night there’s no traffic anymore but to my horror – I swear my eyes are a bit teary while I’m stuck in that freaking jam!

I have never been late in my entire working life, that’s why I feel so bad about it.

I was absent once, because of Ondoy, I got so lucky that time because our VP then was so nice and very very understanding that he “excused” me for that one event , yeah its as if I was never absent at all. I had proof as well that there’s no way for me to leave the house that night. So I was one of the few people who got some financial relief from the company.

But still I cannot believe and accept the fact that I was late for freaking 10 minutes!!! I wish Maynilad will finish their job as SOOOOON as possible because its such a headache to everyone! Pumapetiks kasi ang mga lintek na to! grrr!

I felt better when Jhamie tried to work something out, but then it wasn’t approved so its ok, she really didn’t have to do that but she still did, I’m really really thankful for her.

And to that someone who made me feel way so much better , thank you! What happened to you is worst than every compared to what just happened to me, I just hope that you’ll recuperate asap.

ok,tootles for now.have to prepare my breakfast.

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Last Week on my semi-charmed kinda life :)

My 1st week with Team Jhamie is over and I am really looking forward for the next 2 weeks. At the same time a bit sad because after that I’m gonna have to go back to my (original) team . I learned how to love these people, they’re a bunch of happy-go-lucky peeps, you know they’re always laughing , making fun of each other and really just having fun while working. Not that we’re not having fun in my original team , we do, only in a different way.

I know I felt bad when my boss told me that I have to be in a different team for the training but I know that a part of me is excited too.Can’t tell why.

Just to say a few words about a few people from this team:

Jhamie interviewed me on the day that I apply in that company and to be honest I can’t remember the things I told her during the interview , but I remember some of the things she told me like , tried to avoid saying uhm when talking, avoid Po and Opo since we wont need that much while we are working. I know that she is a good leader and I know that a lot of people would want to be a part of her team ( I got so lucky to be with her team ), in fact she tried to help me last Friday , well she’s helping whenever I ask for help and she makes sure that I’m doing ok. I couldn’t thank her enough for really taking care of me.

Dexter is my previous team mate and I’ve known him ever since NRE days, he got a good sense of humor, he knows how to make people laugh and he is really a good friend of mine.

I used to have a crush on Ron long time ago because he resembles Pong, 1st encounter (can’t think of a better term) with him was pretty weird because I kind of snubbed at him, but I haven’t thought of him looking like Pong yet…he was trying to open the door for me but a friend of mine already got the door open so I didn’t even look at him , I didn’t even say thank you for at least trying to help me, because he was actually running to get the door but…hmm, oh well. The 2nd time that I saw him was the time that he reminded of Pong, his hair then was long and he doesn’t have a tattoo and beer belly yet. haha.  He was my seatmate the entire week, except last Tuesday wherein I was sitting next to Sonny Sandwich.

The 1st night was pretty awkward because the girls from Team Jhamie wasn’t there I feel like I have no one to talk to , Dexter’s break schedule is earlier than mine but so far the boys has been very nice to me. From Tuesday onwards I was having lunch with Ron and Royce since we have the same lunch breaks and one night with Tere.

At 3AM which is my 1st 15 minute break I would usually go to the Diner to meet my original team mate and bond with them: embracing each one of them and gossiping.haha.

Its a good thing that Rica, Zandy and Mimi were checking on me too and my Boss as well.

Jovs is there to say hi to me as well and share a few stories with her, you know catching up with what’s going on , the issues roaming around and just everything under the sun.

So far “work” itself wasn’t that bad I mean I didn’t feel pretty exhausted compared to the week before,though a part of me is still worried.

Now I feel like my heart is broken in 2, one is for my original team and the other is for this team that adopted me for 3 weeks.

Ok, enough about work, time to blog about the other stuff that’s in my head.

*sigh* forgive me if I’m a bit snobbish in person, that’s just me. I don’t mean to be a bad person , I know a lot of my friends would tell anyone that I’m nice but at the same time they will probably tell you that I’m a “brat”.

But I don’t get it when some people would tell someone that I’m nice when they don’t actually know me – the real me.

Alright, I’m not gonna beat around the bush anymore – I acknowledge and appreciate the fact that someone likes me , it only means that my charms are working and I’m really glad that someone appreciates my existence in a different level.

But come on dude, you don’t even know my complete name…you just met me like a few weeks ago and you’re telling me that you love me – I’d say that it’s just infatuation. Just because someone told you I am nice and I started smiling and talking to you means I am really really nice…and if I am not talking to you it only means that I am not interested at all. A guy like you cannot fall for a girl like me. But thanks for telling me I’m pretty.

2nd thing: Another person introduced me to someone telling that someone that I am nice and that we “look good together” – are you kidding me? Why does it seem like some people around me wants me to have a “lovelife” ? A family friend even asked why I am not married yet? — seriously? Come on I’m only 25 I am not in a hurry to tie the knot! And I don’t think that I will ever be ready for that. Aside from my fear in “sukob”  I’m also afraid that I might marry someone who will treat me just like how my father treated my Mum.

I will fall in love at the right time, but why get married and spoil a good thing? I know when I’m older I will have someone to be my companion, I guess that’s what everyone needs, someone that they can grow old with.

I am enjoying someone’s existence right now, someone is taking care of my heart after it has been shattered to pieces, but this doesn’t mean that I’m inlove…not yet.

On the sadder side of things:

I wont be seeing Harry Potter yet, unfortunately someone lost his money after our payday so I lend him some of my remaining funds because I already paid my bills – be careful with your stuff all the time! I might watch HP more likely if the crowd is much less than what it is right now, a lot of people has been waiting for this so more likely there will be a lot of “movie – goers”.

On July 28, Incubus will be here again and I know I wont be able to watch , I think I’m still on training until that time , or if I’m not anymore I really can’t go since my moolah wont be enough. hehe.

On July 29, 3o seconds to Mars will be here too and likewise I wont be able to watch.

But that’s ok, I would rather spend my moolah for the most important stuff, like date with my Mum, breakfast or lunch with my friends and treat myself again buy something I really really like.

Oh well, so much for this entry. Time for me to go I’m kinda hungry too.

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SMILE

I am going to smile because I deserve to.

I thought I was numb, I was pretending that I don’t feel any pain or that I am not hurting…

Because someone once told me that one way to get over and move is pretend that you’re not hurting…keep pretending until you’re used to it, sooner or later you’ll just realized that you have already moved on.

Fake it until you get it right.

Today it just dawned on me that I can still feel pain. What the hell was I thinking?

But pretty much I will do same thing, pretend that it’s ok sooner or later I will be ok.

This is what I got after hanging out with Rica and the boys. Got 1 girlfriend who can relate to my feelings as a lady and 4 boys to make me realize a man’s world.

Rica…we will never run out of stories to tell , especially if it’s about boys… I can easily relate to her frustrations (sometimes) but its true, love can be such a tragic thing…pretty ironic too.

And these guys I think they’re MAN enough to admit that they’re “gago” , hahaha. They made me understand why a man would do such thing(s).

Like in the case of the guy with a jinxed name – I just realized now how “a” he is, but I don’t hate him and I have no regrets to whatever happened because I know that for a moment there he made me happy and I’d rather keep the “good old times” and just forget about the silly ones because it wont do me any good to dwell on such stuff.

The case of Pong pt 2 – ok I don’t know if I like him but I’m having a good laugh when we are talking, honestly I don’t feel any spark or anything like that…like some sort of connection.  But the boys are making fun of the situation and honestly I can’t help but smile and laugh about it.  I don’t want people making a big fuss about what he’s been doing because I’m trying not to pay too much attention to it, but I can’t make these people to stop. So fine, just laugh it all out.Besides he seems to be a funny guy.I don’t think getting to know someone a little more wont hurt that much…doesn’t it seem like most guys have “something bad or weird” about them that some other guys tend to  talk about it – boy I don’t even know if that makes sense.

I know they want me to be happy.

Honestly I’m tired… I feel like my brain is working 24/7 thinking too much, but I am counting my blessings.  And always thankful for everything, no matter how awful the situation is, it’s there to make a better person. I know there are times that I feel like giving up but my friends are always here to grab my hand and pull me up again.

I will miss hanging out with them. Maybe this will just be for a few weeks… I don’t know , I feel bad that I’m not gonna be with them but they fought for me so I’m cool with it.

I’ll be alone for 4.5 days or maybe not.  I know someone will be there to keep me “sane”.

That’s the brighter side.
So here I am smiling.