Get It Right

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down?
‘Cause my best intentions
Keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?

– Get It Right – Glee Cast

I was in a meeting earlier and the song just started playing in my head when someone is explaining something…I don’t mean to not to listen to her but with all honesty I was having a bit of a hard time understanding her, let’s just say that that  person’s communication skills is a bit “challenged” compared to mine – not trying to be mean either I just couldn’t find of a better way of saying it.

But somehow I understand where she’s coming from, she feels like she’s a victim of some sort and my friend is right, you wouldn’t be a victim if you haven’t allowed yourself to be a victim of a situation that you can actually avoid.

I felt the same way, not so long ago. And I wish I could tell what changed my mind or my attitude towards the situation. I just woke up one day and realized that if I want to succeed I should know how to motivate myself…

I’ve said this before, my success and my happiness should not depend on someone / anyone else.

People can say a lot of nasty stuff about you and you can’t stop them from doing it, unless you prove them wrong.

Get things right for yourself, not to please anyone else. You will feel more full-filled by doing so.

That’s just one of the lessons in life I learned recently. I’ve been pretty optimistic like most of the time, but when the “negastar attitude” hits me,  it sucks!

So it’s always nice to surround yourself with people that knows how to motivate themselves and can teach you how to motivate yourself and maintain a positive attitude for almost everything – but then, really have to be careful about some people…because some people will motivate you just for the heck of doing it, they will do it because they will also benefit from it – Genuine Motivation people!

There are moments that you would actually feel that your good is not good enough, blame it on change, because just when you thought that you’ve done something great…here comes “change” and poof the whole world means something else again…so you’re left thinking what else you could have done?

 But this shouldn’t stop you from moving forward – it could hurt you, but never let it break you.

— I don’t think I’m making any sense here. ha ha.

A few announcements, I guess to re-vamp my blogging style , whenever I would blog I would make a list of the bittersweet stuff that happened that I could remember and I might start a blog challenge anytime soon. Let me start the bittersweet stuff today.

Bitters:
– I’m sick,my throat is so freaking itchy and my cough is really killing me – sooooooo hate being sick!
– another night with the creepiest driver ever!
– i thought our new nurse is cute,but I think he’s gay.
– not able to eat donut (courtesy of our AVP) because of my effin cough!
– my mouse is broken! 

Sweets:
– downloaded Kurt’s version of Defying Gravity (Glee), I like Kurt!
– nice lunch at work! teehihi ♥ and at home too!
– the other guy expressed some concern, checking if I’m feeling well.
– will get 7 hours of sleep tonight!
– I’m not the only one sick in our team, yay! I’m not alone.
– someone else made me smile today 


*notes to self: don’t put too much meaning on it, wait till tomorrow 
ok, off to bed now! ciao!

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Reality Bites

and it hurts pretty bad. But sometimes we get hurt for a good reason, right?

Bittersweet Joyce is back online, I know I’ve been out for a while…got a lot of “contemplating moments” and I feel like my brain cells are shrinking – of course I’m exaggerating! Or maybe I have a broken logic bone too…

The last few weeks I should say was somewhat dramatic, proof of that is my previous entry, I admit that my emotions got so mixed up and for a moment there I feel like I’m really lost. It was a pretty good turning point in my life, I know this doesn’t happen all the time but I’m thankful that it did.

Here’s a list of the bittersweet truths I realized so far…

1. It’s always better to keep my mouth shut if I haven’t figured out the right things to say – but this is not applicable all the time, there’s always a “right timing” for everything.

2. If I have a problem with someone and I don’t feel like talking to that person to resolve the issue, it’s always a good idea to talk to someone who knows me too well and the other person – the 3rd party can look in to both sides of the story and can make me realize if I’m wrong or right.

3. I can’t trust anyone I consider as a friend – I have no idea how long have I had this attitude that I categorize my friends according to their personality (sounds weird). Like 1 friend is for laughing moments, 1 friend for gossip moments, 1 friend for movie / music stuff, 1 friend for kikay stuff, 1 friend for keeping my secrets, 1 friend that could teach me anything I need to know about life, 1 friend as my eating buddy and the likes. All of these category can be applied to 1 person, but not to all of my friends. Its better to have only a few people who can be all of these type of friend in just 1 person – you get what I mean right?

4. I may be out of focus sometimes, so I need to constantly remind myself of the things that I need to do and how to do it.

5. I can be so impulsive – grrrr!

6. My happiness, my success does not and should not depend on anyone – during those moments that I feel like I’m lost, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t care about the things that I’m doing. I didn’t know how to motivate myself. I didn’t know how to  pull myself up , it felt like I’m  6 ft. underground and the hands that used to hold me is nowhere to be found – yeah I know it sounds dramatic but that’s the bittersweet truth. Until 1 day I realized that I have to pull myself together if I want to succeed, I found happiness from the strangest places on earth and the negative comments should not affect me at all.

I know what I want, I know what I need…somehow I know how to get them, I ask for help whenever it’s necessary, I ask for opinions to help me make a decision but I don’t think I will ever need someone to decide for me.Unless you’re God.

some tumblr stuff that inspired me 🙂

→ this is true!

→ this is a nice list!

→ Amen!

I’m glad that my Mum  is always here to support me.I couldn’t thank God enough for giving me such an amazing Mum.

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Last Week on my semi-charmed kinda life :)

My 1st week with Team Jhamie is over and I am really looking forward for the next 2 weeks. At the same time a bit sad because after that I’m gonna have to go back to my (original) team . I learned how to love these people, they’re a bunch of happy-go-lucky peeps, you know they’re always laughing , making fun of each other and really just having fun while working. Not that we’re not having fun in my original team , we do, only in a different way.

I know I felt bad when my boss told me that I have to be in a different team for the training but I know that a part of me is excited too.Can’t tell why.

Just to say a few words about a few people from this team:

Jhamie interviewed me on the day that I apply in that company and to be honest I can’t remember the things I told her during the interview , but I remember some of the things she told me like , tried to avoid saying uhm when talking, avoid Po and Opo since we wont need that much while we are working. I know that she is a good leader and I know that a lot of people would want to be a part of her team ( I got so lucky to be with her team ), in fact she tried to help me last Friday , well she’s helping whenever I ask for help and she makes sure that I’m doing ok. I couldn’t thank her enough for really taking care of me.

Dexter is my previous team mate and I’ve known him ever since NRE days, he got a good sense of humor, he knows how to make people laugh and he is really a good friend of mine.

I used to have a crush on Ron long time ago because he resembles Pong, 1st encounter (can’t think of a better term) with him was pretty weird because I kind of snubbed at him, but I haven’t thought of him looking like Pong yet…he was trying to open the door for me but a friend of mine already got the door open so I didn’t even look at him , I didn’t even say thank you for at least trying to help me, because he was actually running to get the door but…hmm, oh well. The 2nd time that I saw him was the time that he reminded of Pong, his hair then was long and he doesn’t have a tattoo and beer belly yet. haha.  He was my seatmate the entire week, except last Tuesday wherein I was sitting next to Sonny Sandwich.

The 1st night was pretty awkward because the girls from Team Jhamie wasn’t there I feel like I have no one to talk to , Dexter’s break schedule is earlier than mine but so far the boys has been very nice to me. From Tuesday onwards I was having lunch with Ron and Royce since we have the same lunch breaks and one night with Tere.

At 3AM which is my 1st 15 minute break I would usually go to the Diner to meet my original team mate and bond with them: embracing each one of them and gossiping.haha.

Its a good thing that Rica, Zandy and Mimi were checking on me too and my Boss as well.

Jovs is there to say hi to me as well and share a few stories with her, you know catching up with what’s going on , the issues roaming around and just everything under the sun.

So far “work” itself wasn’t that bad I mean I didn’t feel pretty exhausted compared to the week before,though a part of me is still worried.

Now I feel like my heart is broken in 2, one is for my original team and the other is for this team that adopted me for 3 weeks.

Ok, enough about work, time to blog about the other stuff that’s in my head.

*sigh* forgive me if I’m a bit snobbish in person, that’s just me. I don’t mean to be a bad person , I know a lot of my friends would tell anyone that I’m nice but at the same time they will probably tell you that I’m a “brat”.

But I don’t get it when some people would tell someone that I’m nice when they don’t actually know me – the real me.

Alright, I’m not gonna beat around the bush anymore – I acknowledge and appreciate the fact that someone likes me , it only means that my charms are working and I’m really glad that someone appreciates my existence in a different level.

But come on dude, you don’t even know my complete name…you just met me like a few weeks ago and you’re telling me that you love me – I’d say that it’s just infatuation. Just because someone told you I am nice and I started smiling and talking to you means I am really really nice…and if I am not talking to you it only means that I am not interested at all. A guy like you cannot fall for a girl like me. But thanks for telling me I’m pretty.

2nd thing: Another person introduced me to someone telling that someone that I am nice and that we “look good together” – are you kidding me? Why does it seem like some people around me wants me to have a “lovelife” ? A family friend even asked why I am not married yet? — seriously? Come on I’m only 25 I am not in a hurry to tie the knot! And I don’t think that I will ever be ready for that. Aside from my fear in “sukob”  I’m also afraid that I might marry someone who will treat me just like how my father treated my Mum.

I will fall in love at the right time, but why get married and spoil a good thing? I know when I’m older I will have someone to be my companion, I guess that’s what everyone needs, someone that they can grow old with.

I am enjoying someone’s existence right now, someone is taking care of my heart after it has been shattered to pieces, but this doesn’t mean that I’m inlove…not yet.

On the sadder side of things:

I wont be seeing Harry Potter yet, unfortunately someone lost his money after our payday so I lend him some of my remaining funds because I already paid my bills – be careful with your stuff all the time! I might watch HP more likely if the crowd is much less than what it is right now, a lot of people has been waiting for this so more likely there will be a lot of “movie – goers”.

On July 28, Incubus will be here again and I know I wont be able to watch , I think I’m still on training until that time , or if I’m not anymore I really can’t go since my moolah wont be enough. hehe.

On July 29, 3o seconds to Mars will be here too and likewise I wont be able to watch.

But that’s ok, I would rather spend my moolah for the most important stuff, like date with my Mum, breakfast or lunch with my friends and treat myself again buy something I really really like.

Oh well, so much for this entry. Time for me to go I’m kinda hungry too.

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